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Sevithial, Angel of Death
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| I'm as happy as I can be... almost. |
[12 Aug 2004|04:49am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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So, my fellow angelic breatherin and I are having a party right now.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) orch, zedvikial, metatronthe5th, sevotharial, laurieal and I are sitting around, talking about days of old, The War and just generally getting to know each other.
It's been quiet a week and with the new people around, we need to get to know each other better.
So, soft music, light drinks and friendly conversation is helping with that.
Plus, the other members of the house are having fun with us.
Other than the angels, gen_adrianfii is mixing drinks for everyone and talking with Kitty, Cy and Hepsidet.
You know, girl talk.
justevoushin and aslanwings are gabbing about magic over by the fireplace. aslanwings looks amazing in his leather and fur dress.
Izia is sitting on the table between the angels, buried in the snack bowl, munching away.
Jibrillial is still in a coma-like state, so she's not talking.
Galen, iemia_requiem and asano_alucard are all talking by the bookshelves.
Last but not least, sauron_valadan is sitting by myself and laurieal, talking with us about Heaven, Hell and Earth.
Good night, in my opinion.
Oh, someones talking at me.
I have to go.
Bye!
~Sevithial
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| Okay, now it's getting crowded |
[10 Aug 2004|06:07am] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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music |
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Three Days Grace - Just Like You |
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In the beginning, there was sevithial and he was good.
Then came orch... okay, that's a lie. orch was livin' here first.
That's beside the point.
Okay, so orch was here first, then I show.
For a time, he and I are the only angels around here.
Awsome! However, Orch's going a little stir crazy.
Then zedvikial shows up and that's great!
Now orch has zedvikial and that's great.
Now not only is there myself, orch and zedvikial, metatronth5th shows up!
Okay, that's cool. He's lost and he's really young and I mean even for an angel.
So that's cool.
God, what a weekend will do.
So now to update you people it's me, orch, zedvikial, metatronthe5th, sevotharial and some chick names Jibrillil!
God damn it, this place is crowded with angels!
Eh, but it's cool cause they're all good people.
I'm not complaining just commenting.
~Sevithial
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| I sometimes forget I have one of these |
[02 Aug 2004|05:42am] |
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Wow, so it's been a while since my last post.
I've been pretty busy.
Reading a lot, writing some, learning how to skateboard.
What?
Hey, way I look at it is I've got to have a hobby. I mean, hell, even angels have to have hobbies, right?
I need write in this journal more often.
I don't think it's safe to be away for so long, juriel might get very worried.
I'm alive and safe, just... it's boring around here sometimes.
I know juriel lives with dark_angel_998, so he's away for the summer but it's hard to be away from him for so long.
I love him and miss him so.
Obsessed?
Maybe just a little.
~Sevithial
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[04 Feb 2004|12:04am] |
Oh my GOD am I bored!
There's nothing to do around here and now that gen_adrianfii seriously needs to use the computer, I won't be able to talk to Juriel for a long time.
juriel, I love you.
Don't forget me if I die while away!
I shant see the outside world till the hiding bud peeks out from the thawing...
Yes, I'm being overdramatic on purpose.
Sue me!
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[21 Jan 2004|10:46pm] |
So, I'm sitting here talking with Juriel.
And I have to wonder, what's keeping me in the Grace of God?
I mean, there's nothing really there.
I know I go on about this a lot but... it's a big part of my life.
To fall or to stay, that really is a big question to all of us.
And not just to the loyal angels, but to those who fell and those born in Hell.
I mean, where do I go.
Heaven hasn't really held any appeal to me, not since I had to kill Requin and Anekiel disappeared.
Hell holds almost no appeal to me either. I have no desire to torture or hurt people.
Plus, and no offense to him, people like marcus_seraphim are not the kind of people I want to spend my time with.
Something's got to give soon and I'm afraid that it's going to be my mind.
In other news, I've peirced my wings.
Don't ask why... okay, I was very sexually frustrated the other day and 10 new wings piercings came out of it.
Don't ask.
~Sevithial
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| The New Year |
[02 Jan 2004|01:49pm] |
Well, it's upon us, and I'm sitting here, just wondering what I'm going to do.
I know what I'm not going to do.
I'm not going to make a New Year's Resolution.
New Year's Resolutions are bullshit.
No one ever keeps them, so what's the point of making them.
No, I think I'm just going to try to do my best to just... be, I guess.
...
That and get into juriel's pants!
...
What? It's a goal. I like it.
~Sevithial
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| Ho, ho, fucking ho |
[24 Dec 2003|01:46pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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music |
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The annoying sound of Christmas carols from carolers outside |
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Well, it's Christmas...
Like I give a shit.
Yes, this is going to be a rant/mope entry, so if you're not in the mood to read one you might want to leave now.
Anyways, this holiday has the best ideas but... in application, it sucks.
Bascially, you humans are supposed to be thankful for what you have an love your fellow man, not once a year but all year 'round.
But no.
You can't do that cause that would be too much of a pain in the ass. So you all parade around, saccrine sweet to each other in appearance so you can get you prize and not have to do it until next year!
Take for example, gen_adrianfii, she's not the nicest person in the world. Hell, at times she can be a down right bitch. Her words, not mine.
However, she gives to charity all year while she has nothing, she does layouts for free for charity sites and what not. So, what do I hear her yelling about recently?
Her parents have been bugging her to come down for Christmas. Now, if you don't know, two years ago her parents kicked her out of the house without any warning what so ever, telling her never to come back and she wasn't welcome. But they're inviting her back because they can't bare not to have family around for Christmas.
How much bullshit is that!?!
You can't be bothered to help her when she's starving or pregnant but you have to have her around for Christmas to remind her what she doesn't have and to make her feel like shit about everything she's choosen, especially her boyfriend, link_virus.
Link's cool, very... bizarre but he's a great guy, especially for Amanda. She's been in so many bad relationships, he's great for her.
But, I'm on a tangant. I just hate it cause it's faigned kindness and charity.
I hate it.
Oh! Another thing that really pisses me off about this time of year, children.
Okay, shut up!
I know I'm an angel of children, it doesn't mean I have to love every fuckin' thing they do.
But this time of year just oppitumizes the selfishness that can so easily be found in children.
They whine, cry and beg for something and they get it, no matter the cost.
Parents, start teaching your children they don't always get what they want early on in life, it makes them better. They may cry but deal!
You'll be doing them a favor later in life.
...
Okay, if continue on this frame of thought I'm going to get really, really, really pissed and I don't want that.
...
Okay, I'm gonna get sappy for a moment. juriel put an entry in his journal.
My heart soars!
He's so beautiful.
Amanda says I might be able to talk to him soon like justevoushin gets to talk to shuichi_tama does.
It makes me happy and excited to think about that.
Arg! Off-tone carolers.
It's not right!
Well, this is going to end my rant.
I hope everyone is having a good holiday/break.
~Sevithial
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| gen_adrianfii gave me this... |
[09 Dec 2003|04:30am] |
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mood |
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 embarrassed |
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...
I don't think I like these meme things.
I think they can read minds or something.
~Sevithial
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| Snow, it's... odd |
[09 Dec 2003|03:52am] |
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mood |
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satisfied |
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music |
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David Charvet - Leap of Faith |
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Well, I've finally been able to go out and experience this thing called "snow".
Listen to me, I sound like an idiot. I've never been out in snow before.
I'm of two minds on the stuff.
1. It's cool and white and moon reflects off of it in just the right way to make the whole world seem filled with magic and when untouched, it's just amazing.
2. It's cold! I mean really cold. Touching the stuff makes me shiver uncontrollably, plus it's wet. I didn't know any of that!
But that's okay, I like looking at it just not touching it.
Good to know.
So now I'm sitting here, cold and a little wet but oddly enough I'm feeling better.
I don't know if it's the full moon but it looks like it. I just spent the last 2 hours staring at it.
I love the moon, it's calming and it helps me think.
You know, Earth may not be that bad.
~Sevithial
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| The Fall and Death |
[03 Dec 2003|01:07am] |
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L.E.D. - 42.MGS2 Mission R |
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I've been thinking about the fall alot lately.
I've been doing that because when 5 of the closest people in your life do it, you tend to wonder.
I have known about 9 angels in my life, 2 of them I knew before the War and 5 after... 6 after, actually.
I forgot juriel...
Wait, hold on. I'm forgetting some.
Requin, Anekiel, Veven, Malekiel, Truviel, Esian, Usukial, Parvitie and Iziach. I knew them extremely well. I was so close to them they were like family.
The others I know but not as well as them are:
Juriel, Barakiel, Lirael and yes, Marcus Seraphim.
I don't know them as well as the other but they are coming to be just as important.
Now, out of them.
Veven, Truviel, Usukial, Iziach, Juriel and Marcus have Fallen from grace.
Requin, Malekiel, Esian, Usukial and Parvitie are dead.
Anekiel is missing and Barakiel and Lirael are the only ones left alive and still in the service of the Throne.
So I have to wonder 6 fallen from grace, 5 dead and 1 missing.
Is service to Heaven really that great?
I have thought about this ever since the War and the only reason I haven't Fallen yet is because...
Yes, I will admit it, it is partially out of fear.
But lately... lately I've been thinking about it more and more.
And I think it all comes down to Freedom.
Heaven doesn't give you that much freedom or any really at all.
Anyone who says differently is lying to themselves.
We can't do what we want, we're servants. No, we're worse then servants, we're slaves!
Slaves to God and his command!
Why do we do this?
Why do we go off into battle and die for someone who has told us that he will never love us as much as he does humans?
Why?!
I don't get it and it is driving me mad!
I want to stay and do my duty to Heaven but I want to leave and find out what is really out there!
I think I've finally come to the conclusion that God is real and alive, he just doesn't give a fuck and he never did!
If he did... he wouldn't have made it so that the angels of death kill anything they touch in their angelic forms yet yearn to be around humans especially in our angelic forms.
I want to hold a animal or a person in my arms and wrap my wings around them so badly but I can't!
I'll kill them if I do.
It's a cruel joke!
I should sit down and talk to someone who was around from before The War and ask them why they fell.
...
I should talk to Marcus as some point about it but... Sadly, I think he'll kick my ass just like last time.
I wouldn't blame him.
He gave me a chance to fall safely and I didn't take it despite how I wanted to.
I need to know why people fall and not just the hasty reasons too.
I mean the thought out reasons.
Why would someone choose to fall...
Why would I choose to fall.
I need answers that I think I'm never going to get.
~Sevithial
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| Sometimes, I see things that people think up that make me want to throw up. |
[28 Nov 2003|04:31am] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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music |
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Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dosed |
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I was recently sitting down, recently is Wednsday night, and watched some television.
I kind of like television. Some of the things are great and others are just... well, tripe.
But I was sitting down and the new episode of CSI just made me cry!
I spent three hours up on the roof of the house crying after watching that!
Basically, the plot of half the story is this elderly woman who owns a lot of cats is found dead, murderer in fact. At first, they think the next door neighbor did it cause they were arguing but no, that wasn't the case. Next, they thought is was the woman's only son. Wrong. Another dead end.
Finally, they find the murder weapon in the house of the woman who lives across the street from the elderly woman. They bring the woman's two daughters in to talk to them.
At first, one of the girls says that he mom stabbed the woman with the pen to get a cat from the elderly woman. The girls really liked that cat, that's why their mom supposedly did it.
Well, one of the women on the show, the blonde one, Catherine, tells them that they didn't find their mother's finger prints on the murder weapon.
The other little girl finally speaks up by saying that she wasn't going to hide it anymore.
The second little girl responded by saying, "Tattletales go to hell."
I was shocked!
This is a child! An innocent basically telling her sister that if she doesn't shut up, she'll go to hell.
Now, I didn't get the full impact of what she said till they explained it.
The little girl stabbed the elderly woman over the cat!
Now, I mean, I love cats but.. murder over a cat?
Now, if the elderly woman was beating and abusing the cat(s), yes, kill her.
Nothing deserves that.
But the girl stabbed the elderly woman because she thought of her cats as children and couldn't bare to give them up.
A child killing over something as selfish as that!
I am severly disturbed by this and not just because people could think of something like this but because things like this happen a lot!
I once thought that there was nothing worse than a child go to hell because of circumstances out of their control.
I was wrong.
The worst thing is when a child go to hell... willingly.
I'm very disturbed.
I think I will be spending the rest of this week on the roof of the house, away from everything.
~Sevithial
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| *covers his face, trying to hide his embarrassment* |
[25 Nov 2003|01:33pm] |
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mood |
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embarrassed |
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Oh God!
I just reliezed that I put down "horny" as the mood on my last post...
Which had a lot to do with juriel.
I'm so embarrassed.
We've just started our relationship and already I'm thinking thoughts that...
...
Well, let's just say my thoughts would make prostitutes blush, okay?
Alright...
I'm such a beast!
I have to stop thinking these thoughts.
He's pure and sweet and untouched and now I feel like a lecher!
But it's not like I just started thinking like this.
I've thought thinks like this before.
I thought a lot like this when I was with Anekiel.
But... now it's a little worse.
I think I want it more now.
*blush*
I'm done talking because if I don't stop, I'm going to go into descriptions!
~Sevithial
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| It is so cold up here, especially around this time of year |
[23 Nov 2003|01:50am] |
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mood |
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 horny |
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music |
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Sting - Shape Of My Heart |
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First off, I would like to start with this.
gen_adrianfii made it for juriel when she found out he had a journal.
I'm not sure if he'll like it. I mean, I kinda do. I think the fox in the corner is kinda cute, but I don't know if he will.
So, Juriel has a livejournal now.
...
Sorry, that was my heart skipping a couple of beats in joy.
How lame is that?
The one I love merely gets a journal and I'm so excited it's not funny.
I'll be able to talk to him more readily, read some of this thoughts and feelings and well... generally be closer to him.
I'm happy about this.
I'm finally letting myself feel happy and loved again.
I love this feeling. It's like lying out in the sun and simply lying around... 'course, I'm not really sure what that feels like.
After Anekiel, I was very afraid to fall in love again. When I was assigned to go with Malikial and his friends I was optimistic and had a new outlook on things.
Then Malikial died.
I'll never forget that day. It was so painful to watch as he ordered us to leave and was ripped apart by the enemy. He was a good man with a heart more pure than any I've ever seen.
For there, 7 became 6 became 5 till all that was left was myself.
Though, the two biggest blow for me was Veven and Belis.
Belis fell in love. Not just in love but madly in love.
We all thought is was sweet, until we found out he fell in love with a demoness and not just any demoness, she was a baroness to the Demon Prince of Lust!
It was terrible, he didn't want to be with anyone other than her, the one he felt he was destined to be with. However, back on Earth he had a mortal he was protecting.
The baroness told him that she was jealous of the fact that he was protecting and thus caring for this mortal above her.
So, to prove his love, he went to Earth and killed the mortal he was protecting then proceeded to go to her to tell her what he had done.
Word got back to us from someone on the inside that when he went to her and told her, her only reaction was a cruel smile as she thrusted her hand into his chest and ripped his heart out.
It was to be a gift to her Prince for her freedom.
It worked.
Veven... Veven I do not wish to talk about right now, but she befell a similiar fate though she did not kill anyone for her love. She simply went to talk to him and never return.
Part of me hopes she is still alive but it is a very small part of me.
It is a part of me that I usually end up hating myself for.
Veven, may your soul be at complete peace.
Normally, I would be saying that love is useless and not worth it but...
I hear his name and I stop thinking, stop worrying and just feel safe and warm.
How can I doubt love when I have that feeling.
So, I dare anyone out there to tell me that love is wrong and nothing good can ever come of it.
Say that to me and I'll know you're either lying or a fool.
~Sevithial
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| A little more disturbing than I'm used to. |
[19 Nov 2003|11:58pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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David Charvet - Leap of Faith |
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Well, I finally finished the 3 volumes of Battle Royale I was borrowing.
It's very graphic and very disturbing.
I mean, the concept alone it enough to give people nightmares.
It's basically about a country that has a pool that pulls a class of 42 9th grades, slaps explosive collars on them, gives them weapons and tells them to kill each other.
If there isn't one winner by the end of three days, they all die.
That's insane!
I mean, that's sick!
What would possess people to do write something like this?!
Not like I get to be judgemental.
I mean, I did sit down and read the whole damn thing.
Plus, I'm waiting for the other volumes to come out.
It's graphic and it's distrubing and it's something that I hope never happens but...
There's this great story going on about all the 42 contestants.
You learn about them, their lives, their loves.
You get the know about them and care for them... usually right before they die, but stil.
Plus, in all this death there's this great love story going on about the main character.
Who, by the way, is very cute.
I like it.
I know I really shouldn't but I do.
I like it a lot.
~Sevithial
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| Sympathy for the Devil? |
[18 Nov 2003|11:35pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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Andreas Vollenweider - Morgana Palace |
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Well, it's good to know that marcus_seraphim now has a journal.
One would think that that would be a waste of his time and above him.
I mean, who is he talking to?
But, that's neither here nor there.
Anyone can write there thoughts down for anyone else.
Though, his comment did get me thinking.
Is it my fault that Requin died?
Too be honest with everyone, including myself, I have to say yes. It is my fault.
I don't know what drove him over the edge like that but I can honestly say that I believe it was me.
It's arrogant to believe that I could possibly have such an effect on someone but deep down inside, I now that I drove him to madness.
I should have been there for him, there more than I was.
He and I, we had a rocky relationship.
He was in love with me and I was in love with Anekiel.
It's hard to work out friendships when the people involved are in a love triangle.
I've spent most of my days and nights outside, away from the others.
Especially Och. I do not think that I can really face him.
However, he seems to think the say things, so we just tend to avoid each other.
It's late now and the sky is very clear.
The moon looks amazing, not a single cloud in the sky.
He would have liked it.
Both of them would have.
Before the war, Requin, Anekiel and I would have spent our nights talking and watching the simply beauty of the Universe.
Now... Now Requin is dead and no one has seen Anekiel since the war.
I think I dishonor him by being in love with Juriel.
I loved Anekiel so much and now I find myself loving another with the same passion I held for Anekiel.
I wonder what he would think of me now?
How he would feel. Would he be happy? Feel betrayed?
I do not know and I probably never will.
Hmm, maybe Marcus having a journal will be better for me than I thought.
Self-discovery. That has to be good, right?
~Sevithial
[Edited at around 1:46 am, est]
I've got a new icon now too. Made for me by gen_adrianfii.
I think she does fantastic work and I think this is my favorite of all the icons she's made me thus far.
Though, this one does make me look a little crazy.
~Sevithial
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[18 Nov 2003|02:42am] |
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mood |
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morose |
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music |
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Evanescence - Going Under |
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I spent the day sitting on the roof of the house. It's nice up there, calm and peaceful.
No one really goes up there, so I can be by myself.
I don't fly around much. Too many people in the area. Too many people that might see me in my angelic form.
It's difficult on Earth. So many people, so many that don't know angles are real.
I wish I could help them, enlighten them to what is really out there but alas, many are no ready for it.
At least I can be in my angelic form on the roof of the house.
No one will see me up there, at least, not were I sit.
As I said, I was sitting up there and a bird flew over to me. It landed a few feet away from me but eventually... eventually if hoped its way over to me.
It was depressing. I should have moved away from it faster but I didn't.
It hopped onto my leg and died the second it landed.
It seems like everything is destined to die if it comes near me.
More so if it loves me.
I should have moved away from Requin faster but... like the bird, I could not.
It would be so easy to let go and fall from grace.
It seems easier on that side of the war.
You don't have to be careful for other people, don't have to worry about the rules.
You just... are.
I'm not sure I could live like that but I do have to admit, it is tempting.
But I think I care too much for life to ever just kill wontonly.
~Sevithial
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